ugh

my knees are killing me and my old pain meds (darvocet) got recalled so right now i don't have anything to take for them.  i got hit by a car almost two years ago and tore something or other but don't have the time available to recouperate from the surgery to fix it so i'm dealing with it through pain meds.

i decided that my mom leaving for a few days is going to be a good thing.  i'll get some time to relax and just enjoy myself with ryan without having to walk on eggshells, but i have to admit that right now from all the stress from her my nerves are FRAYED.

i have knots all over my back from not being able to really relax in so long i don't remember.  i'm wired and my happy mania from earlier has definately taken a turn for the worse.  i'm still wired but no longer productive.  i'm just trying to cope with life at the moment.  i'm not in blackout stage, i can't let myself get there because i'm alone with aiden for the night until around 8am tomorrow morning.

i'm putting him to bed between 8 and 8:30pm tonight.  i just need to rest, terribly.  sleep always makes everything easier to deal with.

sigh, i'm so fed up with all the drama in my life that i feel powerless to change.  right now aiden is upstairs in our room (he sleeps with us even though he has his own room) watching cartoons and i'm just vegging on the couch actually watching what i want on tv.  i havn't gotten to watch anything but cartoons in over 2 weeks.

i need a shower, but that'll have to wait until tomorrow.